Sex worker funny stuff from around the web!

I went to a Red Light district once. The traffic was terrible.
Ever shave ur pussy so smooth u wish u could eat it urself?
If he calls them tittays, he doesn’t know what to do with them.
Lips made for love, hips made for sin
I like my men how I like my coffee:

Filling me up every morning.
A fuck so dirty you’re seeing stars afterwards
If I was an angel, I’d wrap my wings around you but I’m not so my legs will have to do
if ur wife doesn’t wanna bang u why would i
I choose my porn the same way I order at a restaurant, nothing I’d get at home.
Sex so good you leave your panties behind.
I made handcuffs from my broken halo.....

....wanna play?
All I’m saying is if cum tasted like nacho cheese, there’d be a lot more swallowing going on.
She was unique, like a stripper in sensible shoes.
I've paid for sex before...not with money, but with my emotions.
[Strip club]

Him: *counting change* How much for just one boob
I don't like the term "anal bleaching".

I prefer "changing my ringtone".
Nothing puts a spring in my step like a freshly trimmed bush.
Do guys with foot fetishes know about vaginas?
Titties are the best medicine.
There's men who want to pay for sex, and men who have to pay for sex
Let’s watch horror movies and make our own porn.
She said "i've seen smaller" so ya it's been a good day
I dont have a dirty mind i have a sexy imagination.
Your smile is perfect..........not as perfect as your tits, but still.
I may have fallen from grace but it's more fun down here.
I’m “milf porn is now age appropriate porn” years old
A brothel where you can also sell stolen goods, its called "Straddle the Fence"
I love men because they have a built in sex toy
Good morning to everyone except the ladies who don’t maintain eye contact while sucking dick
It’s only a wifi hotspot if I’m near it
I hate being humiliated, unless it's on my own terms with a safe word.
Damn near had a threesome last night. Just needed 2 more people.
Who called them titty pics and not peek a boobs
Lips made for love, hips made for sin
In the words of my Nan "try everything twice, except anal"
Fucking is just that; fucking
Making love is an art
A big dick doesn't count if half of it is your personality
Now that’s a lamp!
You say ‘sex addict’, like it’s a bad thing.
Bras just look better on the floor
I like to start my week with bruised knees from Sunday morning head and after-church anal.
Sex so hot, the smoke detector goes off.
One of the biggest differences between men and women is what they think of when they hear the word "facial".
I prefer jizz connoisseur.
For an extra $100 I will fuck you with the lights strobed.